How the conflict happens in the process of Internalization and Interiorization

“Development, as often happens, proceeds here not in a circle, but in a spiral, passing through one and the same point at each new revolution at a higher level.”

There are some confusions about the process of Internalization and Interiolization. Briefly speaking,  the process of internalizing could be considered as the first stage of absorbing a new thing, it happens when an individual carries symbols into one's mind. Then with the richness of the identical experience, the same symbol interiorize in one's mind.

“We are present at what is actually a process of the greatest psychological importance: what was an outward sign operation, i.e. a certain cultural method of self-control from without, is now transformed into a new intra-psychological layer and gives birth to a new psychological system, incomparably superior in content, and cultural-psychological in genesis.”

I wonder between the two processes, internalization and interiorization, which process is more stubborn once a conflict happens? Maybe one opinion prevails or a new idea will be generated within the individual.

For example, an individual’s attitude and ideas towards outlook on life can be tremendously different from another, which cannot be denied is a culturally external-instrumented operation. Based on my own experience, my concept pertaining to family or marriage initially formed through my daily talk and observation with elders such as parents and relatives, most of whom have more or less related experience. They used to tell me about traditionally dominant ideas about marriage, such as people must get married at a certain age group, a woman must give birth to a child and so forth. At the first stage, those are the symbols of views that I primarily internalized, and they gradually interiorized as more and more people carry the same symbol to me. 

However, conflict occurs as I encounter more and more symbols, such as the change of social circle, being exposed to social media, and film and television works, and the increasing abundance of actual life experience. I started to know that this issue could be analyzed from other perspectives, whether having marriage or not is a choice, and whether having a child is a choice as well. Viewing from the sociology meaning, there is not anything that is compulsory for an independent and mature person. We are not compelled to do something to follow the crowd, to make us gregarious. The result upon one's analysis and determination could matter, but the reason and how one finally reaches it might be struggling and complicated.

I wonder when an individual start to internalize heterogeneous or even contradictory views, how one analyzes the merits or demerits, and how one would make a terminal decision. And how the process of "denying" something happens within an individual's mind.